I grew up in St. Augustine, Florida, and was raised primarily by my mother and grandmother. My mom worked two jobs as a single parent, and because my grandmother had diabetes and needed care, I spent my early years living with her and helping look after her while my mom worked.
When my grandmother passed away when I was 14 years old, everything changed. My father wasn’t involved in my life, and I suddenly found myself spending a lot of time on my own. Without a strong father figure to guide me, I learned many of my survival skills from the streets.
I became a father myself when I was 16 years old, and from that moment, my perspective shifted. Something happens when you hold your child for the first time. The stakes become higher. I had to balance being a father while working and providing for my family. I stopped wasting time on distractions because I knew people were depending on me. My children became my compass.
Years later, on my 21st birthday, my best friend was shot and killed and died in my arms. After that, I was stone cold. Not long afterward, I went to prison and ultimately spent 15 years incarcerated. The hardest part was the years I lost with my family. For 10 of those years, I didn’t see my daughter.
Even while incarcerated, I never wanted my children to think I had abandoned them. I wrote letters, encouraged them, and reminded them that I loved them. I wanted them to know that even though I was behind bars, I was still their father. One of the most difficult moments came during an early visitation with my daughter and her mother. During that visit, her mother told me she would no longer be bringing her to see me. It felt like hitting a stone wall. But I told my daughter that even if I couldn’t see her for a while, I would keep writing. I wanted her to know I was still there for her, however I could be.
That determination to stay connected eventually led me to the InsideOut Dad® program at Hamilton Correctional Institution.
Prison is a difficult place, and often you’re expected to hide your emotions and never let anyone see what you’re feeling. InsideOut Dad was different. Our instructor, Mr. Kelly, listened to us. He was patient. He created a space where fathers could talk honestly about their struggles, their regrets, and their hopes for the future. Walking into that classroom and being around other motivated fathers gave me hope every day.
The program taught me practical parenting skills, but it also challenged me to grow emotionally. One of the most important lessons I learned was the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with the mother of your children.
Before incarceration, I had always been present in my children’s lives. While incarcerated, staying connected often depended on my relationship with their mother. InsideOut Dad taught me to see things from her perspective. If you’re incarcerated, she’s carrying the responsibility of raising your child, working, and keeping life together.
The program helped me understand the importance of respect, communication, and putting the needs of your children first. It taught me that fatherhood isn’t about pride, it’s about responsibility.
During the program, I made a list of goals and a plan for my future. I committed myself to becoming a better man, a better father, and a better example for my children. I wanted to show them what responsibility looks like.
InsideOut Dad helped me understand that being a father isn’t defined by where you are physically. It’s defined by your commitment to showing up for your children however you can.
My advice to other fathers, especially fathers who are incarcerated, is simple: show up. Be present. Be committed. Communicate however you can.
Whether it’s a phone call, a letter, or a visit, let your children know you’re there. Tell them about your goals and the progress you’re making. Let them see your growth. Even if they push you away, keep showing up. Even if it’s only figuratively, hold your child’s hand through those bars.
I’ve also learned that anger can separate you from the people you love most. You have to let go of resentment, forgive yourself, and focus on becoming the father your children need. Peace opens doors, and love keeps those doors open.
Emotional intelligence is what makes a great father. You can’t hold onto anger toward your situation, toward others, or toward yourself. Open your heart to your children and let them know how much you care.
After my release, I connected with Operation New Hope in Jacksonville and enrolled in the Ready4Work program. Rebuilding my life wasn’t easy, but I stayed focused.
Today, I have a job, a paid-off truck, and I’m preparing to move into my own apartment. More importantly, I have relationships with my children and grandchildren that mean everything to me. I am the proud father of five daughters, two sons, and 15 grandchildren.
My favorite part about being a dad is that my children trust me. When they call and ask for advice or tell me they have a problem, it means the world to me.
As a child, I didn’t have that relationship with my own father. Now I get to be the person my children turn to when they need guidance, encouragement, or someone to listen. Being a father means being a friend, a coach, a teacher, and sometimes still a student. I learn from my children every day.
My kids are my joy.
Looking ahead, I refuse to let my past define my future. I came home determined to succeed, achieve, and elevate. I’m grateful for the people who continue to support me and walk alongside me.
For fathers on the inside and fathers on the outside, I want you to remember this: your children are watching. Your influence will ripple through generations. Keep showing up. Keep growing. Keep loving, and never stop reaching for hope.
